 |  | Thende04 | pop I have just finished an assignment that has left me mentally exhausted! I re-visited my past, during the period of 29yrs. thru 35yrs. of age. I realized that 15yrs. thru 21yrs. of age, was the worst period of my life growing up but, 29yrs. thru 35yrs. old, was the most traumatic time in my life!! It fully explains my resistance to completing the assignment. At first, I thought after completing the 15-21yrs. old assignment the rest would be a breeze. I didn't understand why I was dragging my a@$ in completing this one and now I know why! I won't make the same mistake I made previously, I will not hold back any tears that wish to flow and flow they will. I am more determined to push ahead and dedicate myself to my You University work. I absolutely want to break free from the past and heal. Each completed assignment brings me closer to the life I want to live instead of the prison my past has locked me in. As I look at the Teri of that time in my past, I ache for her and send her my love, she is gone but not forgotten. I am grateful for You University and the wonderful opportunity to make my dream of being a Life Coach and helping others who may be where I once was come true. To heal my past, and discover the authentic me, the person I have always been, am meant to be, but couldn't see is what really, really matters to me at this point in my life. I joyously release the past and I am at peace!!!! |
Monday, February 14, 2011
THE JOURNEY CONTINUES
Sunday, February 6, 2011
RESISTANCE AND REALIZATIONS
I am working to overcome great resistance in completing building #2 still!! I have made a promise to complete it by Sunday Feb. 2nd, 2011 - today!!! I realize that I am in a fight with my ego who is scared and simply trying to protect me. Change is always scary for the Ego. I also know that once I push through this resistance and just complete the assignment, I will feel so much better. I will also move forward in the healing process and that is the main idea of this journey home to myself. I must say if it were not for my Wise Fairy Godmother, Maia Berens and the support of my classmates and everyone else involved with You University I would be lost!!
I realize that looking at my past and the not so pleasant experiences I endured is difficult. I know that in order to make progress and continue healing I must do this. I am so grateful for the awareness that I am gaining and my ability to instantly recognize when I am resisting, that I have gained since starting my journey through You University. I definitely look forward to graduating, looking back and smiling with pride of my accomplishments and for healing that which binds me now. More importantly, is the excitement I have in knowing I will be helping others on their journey upon my graduation. If I can take my life experiences and use them to help others and show them how to heal themselves, that is living my life with purpose.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
MY EXPERIENCE WITH BUILDING # 2
I officially began my journey through You University on November 23rd, 2010.The way it works is, you work in different buildings and as you complete all the assignments in one building you move to the next and so on. While there is no time limit for completing these buildings, Maia does provide us with a suggested guideline we can follow.
As of right now, I am in Building # 2 and ideally should have completed it by the second week in January. I have experienced massive resistance with this building and it was very difficult to get started. I pushed through the resistance and finally got started on the assignments, which are broke down according to age groups in this building.
I was making good progress through the assignments that is, until I came to the 15yrs. through 21yrs. age group. Right before I started it, I had a huge blow out with my daughter's over what they bought at the grocery store? As I began the writing assignment, I started to become very restless and agitated. Upon completing it, my emotions were all over the place and all I wanted to do was cry! However, I held back the tears not wanting to explain why I was upset to anyone.
When I got up the next morning, I was extremely sick and though I tried to lay back down and get some more rest it did not help. I felt even worse then before, I had chills, body aches & pains the whole nine. In other words, I had the flu! It was crazy how sudden and out of nowhere it came on. Thank goodness for comfy pj's and nyquil!!
I had to ask, if by holding back my emotions, was that what caused me to become sick? I asked and did some research, the results were surprising to me! People can actually make themselves sick by stuffing their feelings and not processing their emotions. I was told it can actually lower your immune system. Was that what happened in my case? I cannot say for sure. Based on my memories from that time in my life and the affect they had/have on me, chances are really very good that by holding back and not just having a good cry I did make myself sick!!
I really have to say, that this program is pretty damn powerful! The emotional work is not easy at all, I will just put that out there. However, the healing I am experiencing from my toxic past is definitely worth being uncomfortable!!
As for the toxic memories of my past they took me back in time! I could feel the teenager in me, that was deeply & repeatedly hurt by the people she loved the most, her parents. I just wanted to hug her, tell her that I loved her and that it would all be okay. It angered me, to realize how much this affected me, my life and how much so!
Until I completed that assignment and put it all out there, it just festered inside me! Seeping out in the form of toxic relationships, low self-esteem and my fear of becoming successful. It's hard for me to really explain, how it felt to tell my story. For me to put my secrets out there and be able to rid myself of all that garbage I held inside, for all those years.... was huge!! I felt this sense of relief, as if a ton of weight had been lifted off my shoulders! What's more I am okay with it now, in the sense that it's no longer my shameful secret, I told my story, it happened, it hurt me deeply and on so many levels but, I am a strong and I'm a survivor. It was as if, I had taken back my power!
As of right now, I am in Building # 2 and ideally should have completed it by the second week in January. I have experienced massive resistance with this building and it was very difficult to get started. I pushed through the resistance and finally got started on the assignments, which are broke down according to age groups in this building.
I was making good progress through the assignments that is, until I came to the 15yrs. through 21yrs. age group. Right before I started it, I had a huge blow out with my daughter's over what they bought at the grocery store? As I began the writing assignment, I started to become very restless and agitated. Upon completing it, my emotions were all over the place and all I wanted to do was cry! However, I held back the tears not wanting to explain why I was upset to anyone.
When I got up the next morning, I was extremely sick and though I tried to lay back down and get some more rest it did not help. I felt even worse then before, I had chills, body aches & pains the whole nine. In other words, I had the flu! It was crazy how sudden and out of nowhere it came on. Thank goodness for comfy pj's and nyquil!!
I had to ask, if by holding back my emotions, was that what caused me to become sick? I asked and did some research, the results were surprising to me! People can actually make themselves sick by stuffing their feelings and not processing their emotions. I was told it can actually lower your immune system. Was that what happened in my case? I cannot say for sure. Based on my memories from that time in my life and the affect they had/have on me, chances are really very good that by holding back and not just having a good cry I did make myself sick!!
I really have to say, that this program is pretty damn powerful! The emotional work is not easy at all, I will just put that out there. However, the healing I am experiencing from my toxic past is definitely worth being uncomfortable!!
As for the toxic memories of my past they took me back in time! I could feel the teenager in me, that was deeply & repeatedly hurt by the people she loved the most, her parents. I just wanted to hug her, tell her that I loved her and that it would all be okay. It angered me, to realize how much this affected me, my life and how much so!
Until I completed that assignment and put it all out there, it just festered inside me! Seeping out in the form of toxic relationships, low self-esteem and my fear of becoming successful. It's hard for me to really explain, how it felt to tell my story. For me to put my secrets out there and be able to rid myself of all that garbage I held inside, for all those years.... was huge!! I felt this sense of relief, as if a ton of weight had been lifted off my shoulders! What's more I am okay with it now, in the sense that it's no longer my shameful secret, I told my story, it happened, it hurt me deeply and on so many levels but, I am a strong and I'm a survivor. It was as if, I had taken back my power!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Update on my Journey Home
I posted my first blog entry to show how I found Maia and You University. That was written in the very beginning of my journey. I am now approximately 2 maybe 2 1/2 months into it now. I cannot begin to tell you how happy & grateful I am for the discovery of this program!!
I have basically been a dabbler for a few years, up until 2008 that is. I started to become serious then, about the fact that I wanted to heal and move forward in my life. I knew inside that there was more to life then what I was living and I wanted to find it! I made the decision that I wanted to pursue a Life Coach career. I enjoy helping people and I have always wanted to own a business and be my own boss.
I started researching Life Coaching and what type's of programs were out there. I discovered one, out of the sea of programs available that stood out to me. It was a Holistic Spiritual Life Coach certification program. The material truly resonated with me and I signed up. I was excited and started reading the manual, listening to the CD's and even had a coaching session with the Creator of the program. However, as I delved deeper into the training, I came to the part where the emotional work started. Needless to say that was the end of that.
I started my pursuit for change and growth back up in 2010. As I wrote in my previous post, I found Journaling for You Community which led to You University. I look at the previous books I read and programs I signed up for as prior teachers. While every training, program and/or guru claims their material, their methods or products are the best. I realize that what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for the next. You University is the one that works for me!
I have learned and utilized the tool's Maia has/is teaching us and I have actually experienced growth. I mean, I actually felt & feel it, both emotionally & physically. People have noticed a change in my appearance and my demeanor. I am more calm and feel more peaceful, I am eager to move forward and experience continued growth & transformation. While I have experienced huge resistance, I have and will continue to push through it. This is how I know I am truly, truly ready for my journey home to myself. It is also, how I know that this is the program for me!!
I have basically been a dabbler for a few years, up until 2008 that is. I started to become serious then, about the fact that I wanted to heal and move forward in my life. I knew inside that there was more to life then what I was living and I wanted to find it! I made the decision that I wanted to pursue a Life Coach career. I enjoy helping people and I have always wanted to own a business and be my own boss.
I started researching Life Coaching and what type's of programs were out there. I discovered one, out of the sea of programs available that stood out to me. It was a Holistic Spiritual Life Coach certification program. The material truly resonated with me and I signed up. I was excited and started reading the manual, listening to the CD's and even had a coaching session with the Creator of the program. However, as I delved deeper into the training, I came to the part where the emotional work started. Needless to say that was the end of that.
I started my pursuit for change and growth back up in 2010. As I wrote in my previous post, I found Journaling for You Community which led to You University. I look at the previous books I read and programs I signed up for as prior teachers. While every training, program and/or guru claims their material, their methods or products are the best. I realize that what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for the next. You University is the one that works for me!
I have learned and utilized the tool's Maia has/is teaching us and I have actually experienced growth. I mean, I actually felt & feel it, both emotionally & physically. People have noticed a change in my appearance and my demeanor. I am more calm and feel more peaceful, I am eager to move forward and experience continued growth & transformation. While I have experienced huge resistance, I have and will continue to push through it. This is how I know I am truly, truly ready for my journey home to myself. It is also, how I know that this is the program for me!!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
How I found You University and began the journey home.
I am finally on the right path and it feels so right!!! I have been in the role of victim for so long, repeating the same old patterns and knowing what the outcome would be. I spent many hours beating myself up over it and finally, I found the tools and the support to move forward and peel away the layers to expose my true Authentic self - The Real Me.
I made a decision to become a Life Coach and started doing research on the various trainings out there. I quickly became discouraged at how many were out there and how much they cost and all the different programs available. I was surfing on the net one day and came across a free online journaling site. I enjoy journaling but never kept up with it much. However, I am online daily checking my mail and working so I thought it would work well. Needless to say I signed up, created my profile and explored the site for awhile.
What I found was a fantastic community of positive, supportive, and knowledgeable people. I have made some new and very special friendships that I know will last for a long time to come. The journaling has been so helpful in dealing with the emotions I am experiencing through this personal transformation. You can make your journals public or private, you can view other peoples journals and so much more.
Anyways, I guess I was just so surprised at the sincerity of these wonderful people, usually you sign up for some freebie only to become bombarded by daily e-mails to buy some product or service! Not there, I actually did not know they offered anything other than the journal until I was exploring the site and found some programs that they offer along with some other services. Which by the way, turned out to be of all things a Life Coach training program!! Talk about being guided to the right place exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I just thought this was such an awesome Body, Mind, & Spirit experience that I had to share it!!! Anyone else have a similar experience to share?
I made a decision to become a Life Coach and started doing research on the various trainings out there. I quickly became discouraged at how many were out there and how much they cost and all the different programs available. I was surfing on the net one day and came across a free online journaling site. I enjoy journaling but never kept up with it much. However, I am online daily checking my mail and working so I thought it would work well. Needless to say I signed up, created my profile and explored the site for awhile.
What I found was a fantastic community of positive, supportive, and knowledgeable people. I have made some new and very special friendships that I know will last for a long time to come. The journaling has been so helpful in dealing with the emotions I am experiencing through this personal transformation. You can make your journals public or private, you can view other peoples journals and so much more.
Anyways, I guess I was just so surprised at the sincerity of these wonderful people, usually you sign up for some freebie only to become bombarded by daily e-mails to buy some product or service! Not there, I actually did not know they offered anything other than the journal until I was exploring the site and found some programs that they offer along with some other services. Which by the way, turned out to be of all things a Life Coach training program!! Talk about being guided to the right place exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I just thought this was such an awesome Body, Mind, & Spirit experience that I had to share it!!! Anyone else have a similar experience to share?
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