I DID IT, I GRADUATED!!

Graduation day has come and gone now and I am preparing for many new and fantastic adventures, Thanks to YOU University!!


I am going to be working at LifeTime Unlimited Holistic Healing Ministry, as a Life Coach - of course.  I will also be doing a weekly blog talk radio show and facilitating workshops as well!!  


I find it hard to imagine that the total transformation and life changing experiences I have had through YOU University's life coach training program has prepared me for doing all of these things now.  I use to morbidly fear any type of public speaking and would literally become ill prior to doing it!!  Now I am truly excited to be preparing for the workshops and radio show.  It just really amazes me!!


I have been going through my blog posts and journal entries from when I first began to present and I love that I can visually see the changes as they occurred.  I am so glad that I created this blog and that I journaled from start to present.  It's really been a miraculous experience for me, one filled with so much healing, sharing, growth & support all the way through.


I am eager to take my first client through YOU University and share in their journey with them from the standpoint of being their coach.  My life has been flourishing in so many ways as I have experienced all of the changes within.  New friends, new jobs, lots of opportunities and exciting experiences surround me now.  Not to mention, healthy & improved relationships with my family and loved ones.  While my family still has it's crazy drama and chaos, I no longer am dragged in or putting myself in the middle of it!!  I know how to say no and mean it and that feels good, no more feelings of guilt in saying "NO."


That's not to say that my life is all peaches & cream and I have no problems, I do.  However, the way in which I handle my issues/problems is totally different these days.  I cannot tell you how good it feels to no longer avoid and run from my problems but face them head on, now!!  I no longer deal with bouts of depression and I am at peace and content on a daily basis with an attitude of gratitude.


I intend to continue to post on my blog  and share about my journey, because life is a school and the journey is an ongoing process!!  Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to follow and read my posts, I am very grateful to you.  Until next time :)

ONE YEAR LATER...

Well, it has been quite awhile since I have posted any entries here on my blog.  I have been quite busy, learning how to live for myself, how to separate myself from the crazy chaos that was my everyday life and working towards my goals.

I am feeling so refreshed, having just participated on one of our weekly YOU University group coaching calls!  I love these calls, one cannot help but feel totally energized afterwards!  I have been cut off so to speak from my support system through YOU U and all of the other methods we use to connect with one another.  I switched providers for my internet, cable, & phone services, what a nightmare that was!!!  I am so glad that it is over and I can now get back to work.

I will say, that my time away from the tech world has been quite an experience!  It hasn't been all bad though, I had some quality "ME" time.  I was able as a friend put it, to fall from the nest and fly on my own successfully!!  I was able to be separated from my support system and connections with these valued friends and do just fine.  I actually utilized the tools I learned and asserted myself on my own and did just fine - great in fact!!

My time to myself, was spent doing some much needed re-grouping.  I did a lot of reflecting on where I am, where I am headed, and what I truly want for myself.  I actually received total confirmation that I am indeed on the right path and I am starting to discover the real me.  I am discovering the skills and abilities that I have which lay dormant all of these years. 

It has been approximately one year, since I began my journey and I am such a dramatically different person now today than I was back then!!  I am more myself, the person I have always been just lost along the way.  I'm finding her everyday more and more, I'm loving her and it is/has been quite a journey thus far!!!!  While it hasn't always been easy, I've had to face a lot of buried emotional baggage and resolve many unresolved issues; it has been life changing and I say that with every fiber of my being all bulls@*$ aside.

I have learned so much, grown by leaps & bounds, experienced healing on so many levels and shared my journey every step of the way, with such a wonderful support system of true friends and for that I am grateful!!!!

I still have work to do and life being the school that it is, our learning never stops.  However, I am stronger now, I have so much more clarity than before and my determination has grown tremendously.  It's like having a new set of eyes and seeing yourself and the world around you in a whole new light.

So there you have it, I am still here, I am still working to heal, grow, & change and it's working!!!!  To say that I am grateful for Maia Berens coming into my life and for attending YOU University, well that would be an understatement!!!!

The weight of Compassion."

                                  "The weight of Compassion."

The following is the definition of compassion at Wikipedia:

Compassion (from Latin: "co-suffering") is a virtue — one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism — foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.

Compassion for others is something most of us have, some more than others. However, when does too much compassion become a serious problem? I like to think that my sense of compassion is perfectly balanced. I'd be lying if I said that were true because, such is not the case!

I come from a long line of dysfunction in the family setting. I have and am working hard to break the chain. However, within my journey I have discovered that I am suffering from the weight of my compassion for others!

What does this mean? It simply means that I have replaced my co-dependency issues with an unhealthy dose of way too much compassion! The weight of this compassion on me and my life is very, very heavy. Not only is it heavy but, it's harmful as well.

You see, I took my sense of compassion for others and assumed it to mean that others problems were also my problems! I worried and fret over others situations, seeking a solution for them.

I allowed it to affect me on an emotional and sometimes physical level. I completely threw out any type of personal boundaries what so ever! In doing so, other people's issues totally invaded my life. I was feeling their worry, their pain, and their sorrows, sometimes even more than the person themselves!

My compassion for others simply re-created itself into my former co-dependent relationships. I put myself on the back burner and concentrated on solely on how I would help them and/or how I could fix their problems.

Now some people appreciated my help and welcomed my ideas and other people came to expect my help and let me do all of the work for them! They were taking advantage of me, knowing that it wasn't my place to be handling their personal problems. Those people enjoyed total freedom to do other things and enjoy themselves while I took care of their problems for them!

The weight of compassion can be devastating and it was for me! I was depressed, always moody, sleeping as much as possible, avoiding my family and friends, not handling my business matters or taking care of my, I was always getting sick, and I was absolutely STUCK!! By stuck I mean, that I made no progress towards my journey of healing from my past.

I couldn't, maybe I should say wouldn't accept responsibility for what I was doing to myself and my life. I was in denial about the fact that I had created my reality and all the mess that I was experiencing at the time. It got to a point in which I just wanted to shut down! I had no desire to do anything, talk to anyone, or take care of myself.

I lost so much weight, I never got dressed anymore, barely even showered and didn't bother to do my hair or make-up at all. Then I would get mad if I had to go somewhere and do something, if I couldn't get someone else to do it for me! I didn't want to go out the way I looked and was to lazy to get ready then go.

Needless to say my compassion for others, the weight it brought down on me, was crushing the life right out of my body! Sounds a bit dramatic I know but, I can assure you that it absolutely felt that way to me. So much so that the way I was feeling inside showed up on the outside in my life, to every degree possible!

I was feeling hopeless that is, until someone helped me to see the err of my ways. I was an absolute train wreck at the time and for once I began to see light at the end of the tunnel!! This person whom I call my Wise Fairy Godmother, helped me to recognize the affects that my overly compassionate self had created. She showed me a way to bring my compassion into balance.

I felt an amazing shift within myself and it sparked my desire and my motivation to embark upon the journey I am currently on. What journey you ask? the Journey home to myself - the "Real Me"!! I am finally discovering how to achieve a healthy balance of compassion, how to set personal boundaries, how to heal from my past, discover my internal/learned beliefs and change the ones that are of no benefit to me. All the while, uncovering my authentic self, the "Me" that I have always been but, hid away deep inside to protect myself from my dysfunctional life.

Having lived such a dysfunctional life for so long, I had forgot who the real "Teri" was anymore or how to even find her!! That's where my journey through YOU University comes into play. I have since experienced a tremendous amount of learning, growth, and healing. I continue to experience all of this and so much more to this day.

This whole story of what the weight of compassion has personally cost me, was an assignment. My Wise Fairy Godmother, also known as Maia Berens assigned it to me and I suspect the reason being; to help me continue doing what I am doing in YOU U but, more importantly! to help me from forgetting what,"The Weight of Compassion" was on me!!

"ATTACK OF THE EGO"

I have been in a sort of a funk, for a bit of awhile lately.

I couldn't quite put my finger on why I was feeling this way, until now!

Yeah, I am going through some financial hardships and I am looking for a new home and dreading the thought of having to move. However, I have been in this boat before and as bothersome as these problems are - this situation is different?

I was catching up on the Google Waves last night, reading and posting a couple of comments on some of them. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks!!

My old inner tapes have been playing away and while consciously I am excited and pursuing my goals through YOU U, on a subconscious level, I am doing the exact opposite!!

My old fears, coping mechanisms and thoughts have been wreaking havoc within me! I have been extremely tired, more into TV than usual, & mopey.

I honestly did not recognize it until last night! I was feeling like I was becoming distant, not closer to the group and it upset me greatly! I knew that when I would have any negative thoughts about my journey, I would acknowledge them and them replace them with positive ones.

What I didn't know was that my actions, thoughts & feelings were all a result of my egos desperate attempt to reel me back in. I am up against a battle with my own ego, who for years has programmed me to not step out of my comfort zone, to believe that I am not good enough and will never be successful at anything.

It's frightening to think that my conscious is battling my subconscious! It's exciting for me to now realize that this is what's been going on within me!! With my new found knowledge of this, I can better prepare to fight off my ego's attempts to resist. I will be better equipped to catch on quicker when my ego creeps up.

I am 42yrs. old and I knew going in that this would be difficult at times considering, my years of negative programming. I just wasn't prepared for how clever my ego would be in it's attempts to stop me!

This has been huge for me and has refreshed my drive & enthusiasm for my journey drastically!!!!

I hereby, commit to:

• attend all calls,
• complete all assignments given to me by Maia,
• to give my best to my journey and the responsibilities that come with it,
• to utilize the tools we learned when needed,
• to utilize my friends in deed when I am struggling
• to overcome my old programming
• to love myself enough to be successful & know I deserve it

I will end by saying that, I am truly grateful for this realization and for the increased strength, drive, & ambition that learning this has given me!! :)

MY ARRIVAL IS TAKING PLACE, I AM FINALLY HERE!!

I am experiencing an awareness, a rather large awareness!  I feel this new found self-confidence, this sense of "Knowing" and a feeling that I am arriving - if that makes sense?  

I found yesterday, that in any conversations I had throughout the day; I felt very confident and secure with myself.  It's really hard to explain exactly what the feeling is but, it's good I know that much!


I am still working through the buildings in YOU University and my two classmates have both graduated already.  At first, I used to get upset with myself at how much further ahead they were than me.  I felt like I was slacking and it made me angry with myself. 

I later realized that, all of us are on our own individual journeys and I am working at the exact pace that I am meant to for my journey!  It isn't a race and we all pretty much started at different times anyhow, needless to say I got over it quickly.


I am excited to be at a point in my journey where the transformation is apparent to all who know me.  I've been asked what am I doing, told that I am glowing and even that I look much younger and happy!  Loving it!! lol

It's been just six months since I started in YOU University.  The program is designed to take approximately six months.  Some people will take longer to complete it and some will take less time, either way that is okay.



I just really am proud of myself for sticking with it and not running when I started facing the emotional work!  After all, this is the first time I have ever not quit a program of this nature. By that I mean, a program designed to better myself and deal with unresolved issues.  I just wasn't totally ready and the other programs I attempted to try were closer to what I was looking for but, not enough so to keep my attention.

It's like, each time I found a new program; it was better than the previous one and more of what I wanted.  So, when I finally found YOU University I knew immediately that this was it!  This is the program for me, it has everything I was looking for and more!!


I am about halfway through the program and I will tell you; that with each completed building, my experiences continue to unfold and I love this program!!

LOVE LETTERS

  Before I learned about the "Love Letters" technique, I was notorious for writing letters when I was upset with someone in my family! Of course, I had no format to follow and most of the letters were given to the people. There were some letters, that I didn't give to the person.

I learned this letter writing trick from my parents, mainly my dad. You knew something was up when you got a letter from dad! My dad would give us the silent treatment when he was mad at us and then usually follow it up with a letter. His letters most times, left you feeling pretty crappy!

I can admit that even back then, I always felt better writing a letter and getting the issue off my chest. Even if I didn't give it to the person, I still felt better just writing it. I rationalized it like this, by writing a letter I could make sure to say everything that I wanted to. I would normally forget things if I just tried talking with the person and then left the conversation feeling more upset, that I didn't say all that I wanted too. I also felt that by writing the person a letter they could take the time to read it and process what I had said to them and then we could perhaps talk things over.

I definitely had the right idea, I was just lacking the correct format to use for positive results!! I really love the "Love Letter" technique!

I am thinking about perhaps, first using the "Love Letter" technique prior to talking with the person I am upset with. If I do that first, I feel that I will have gotten a start on feeling better and will be in a better position to discuss the problem without getting real upset and/or heated. I don't mean that I will give the letter to them but, just write it and get it out & off my chest first before approaching them.

I am definitely to the point in my journey, that I am ready to take the necessary steps needed for myself. I am no longer trying to come up with all of these reasons not to just say what I want to, so that the person isn't offended, hurt, or angered.

I have put myself on the back burner for far too long now and that's stopping effectively immediately!! I am growing so much with each day in YOU U, with every call I am on, and importantly with each new tool I learn and use!! Combine all of that with the journaling and all of the support and connection between all of us and WOW!! LOVING IT !!!!!!!!

POINTERS, TIPS & ADVICE for YOU University Students

Once again, it's been awhile since my last entry. I went to bed the other night, only to be bombarded with some information that I felt compelled to get up & write down! I realized it would be great information to share with future YOU University students.

YOU University has been & is such a wonderful, life changing program for me. As I work my way through each building and experience healing, growth, and learning; I have come across some things to share.


I decided to share these tips to help those, who will be embarking upon their journey through the program. I do so to be of help, to share some of what I experienced in hopes of helping to make your journey easier for you.


The following is what I've learned in YOU University:

1. I realized it takes complete focus & consistency throughout.
2. Very important, Do Not
3. I learned that I needed to totally commit to myself to give 100% all of the time & to stick with it, through facing my emotionally charged issues.
4. compare yourself and where you are at in the program to your fellow students. Just work at your own pace & trust that you are right where you need to be!
5. A crucial component is complete honesty, you must remain completely open & honest with yourself. If your not, the only one your hurting is yourself!!
6. Something I discovered during a very tough time in my journey, that helped me big time! It said that experiencing 1 or more of the following manifestations IS PROOF that your self-mastery process is working: 

• An increase in old, dysfunctional behaviors.
• Distinguishable amounts of yelling, crying, talking, excessive activity, physical ailments, or illness.
• Feelings of depression, anxiety, numbness, dissociation, being "Zoned-Out".
• An increase in compulsive behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, sex, food, TV watching.
• Feelings of confusion, uneasiness.
• Feelings of anger, hatred, or resentment.
• Justifications and rationalizations.

That information was found in a book I have had and read most of. None of which truly resonated with me until now!!!

I am sure to come across more but, for now that's what I have.

I hope this information helps my future fellow YOU U students.